Wednesday, June 23, 2004

There's nothing mellow about it

It's not just a slogan... it's an attitude. The headline up there, no to your left, there you go. The headline up there refers to my newly reacquainted love of Mello Yello. Yesterday's trip to the local grocery mega-store spawned the purchasing of various types of Coca-Cola company products. I already regaled the tales of my C2 adventure in very few words.

Today's soda tale is that of the bastard cousin of Mountain Dew. I am no soda history buff but I would bet twenty bucks that Mountain Dew came first. It seems only logical being it has a somewhat creative name although I have no experience with dew in the mountainous regions of the globe, I highly doubt that the dew there is yellow. I will award PepsiCo points for giving their ulcer-forming soda a creative name but when said name is disected, it is found to be a total farce. (to note that if the dew in mountainous areas is truly yellow, I am staying right the hell out of the mountains.)

Mello Yello, however, is a much more straight forward approach to naming a sugar-laden yellow soda. Yello=Yellow. Got it? Ok, class, let's move on. Mello=mellow. Both words in its name are based on actual words in the english language. Points for logic go to Coca-Cola. I guess that, after examining it, the name of this could be a play on words. Yello being the truthful and honest part with Mello being the "ha-ha" part. Drinking this sugar-filled, caffeine-laced, horrible colored soda will do absolutely nothing to mellow one out. The amount of caffeine, I estimate, is close to that contained in five pounds of freshly ground coffee. If you plan on sleeping this year, limit your daily consumption of Mello Yello to one 12 oz. can.

I also had a can of Coca-Cola Classic but what fun is it to analyze that?

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