Monday, April 26, 2004

The weekend is over

Actually, if you want to get totally technical, it was over as we finished inhaling the last slice of pizza in downtown Austin sometime after 1 AM but before 3 AM. Those two hours get a bit hazy in my mind. It was, after all, the weekend of my birthday. So, what else was left to do but celebrate it?

The real festivities began as I set the course for the evening by innocently stopping off at one of the city's many liquor stores. I purchased only a small amount of beer which would last well beyond just one evening. I even abstained from having any before three of us piled into the fiancee's new car to head downtown to eat at the world's best BBQ restaurant. The food is amazing, it's locally owned and I am friends with one of the owners due to the fact that we went to high school and graduated together. A locally owned restaurant that would simply kick the holy living shit out of any chain restaurant that I know of.

Piggy Blues. That's the name of this infamous restaurant. When I lived and worked in Austin, it was a regular occurance to eat there. Now it is saved for special occassions when I return to visit. They don't have a website to visit but when you make a trip to the southern reaches of Minnesota to visit the SPAM Museum, continue south on Main Street through stop lights and focus your attention to your right, half a block before the third stoplight is the restaurant. Quaint surroundings and everything on the walls is for sale. YOU... MUST... EAT... THERE... (and try the dirty rice AND the corn puffs - you won't be disappointed.)

As I was saying, I abstained from alcohol before supper. Even while eating supper we only had one pitcher of beer which amounted to two mugs for me. It all started so innocently. Why did it end so painfully?

After eating it was back to my friend's house to hang out for a while. Nothing much, just talking and giving each other a hard time. Of course, this was done over drinks. In the course of two hours, eight cans of sweet, delisious beer disappeared from my case which I purchased earlier. I think my fiancee had three of them so that's not too bad for me. Around 9:30, five of us piled into the car of the decided designated driver and headed to the bar of choice for the evening.

WHen we walked in, I was surprised that there was no band tonight, just a DJ. And he wasn't plaing rap. That came later in the evening when I felt compelled to dance. And I don't regularly dance. Draw your own conclusion. It was decided that we shall order a pitcher of beer and we found a table. Drank said beer and soon more friends showed up. We flagged them down and the oddly shaped table filled up. More beer was ordered. Soon we purchased pull tabs. Then more beer. We talked some more. We watched the Timberwolves lose to the Denver Nuggets over the noise of the DJ's music.

Soon, I confessed that I was wasting my money on what tasted like water instead of beer. As I finished the last of the beer in the pitcher I pondered my choices. I swaggered up to the bar and ordered a screwdriver. This was right around the time that two very drunk friends entered the bar and hugged me repeatedly. One kept muttering why I live so close but never call. The other commented, much to the dismay of my fiancee, how she hasn't seen me in sooo long. Before long, both were getting on my nerves but not enough to bring down my good spirits which was now costing me $3.50 per glass.

I am not sure if I ever noticed that it was last call but by that time I was too busy mingling and dancing and being rowdy. Still getting harassed by the drunk pair. It continued until we left to get pizza.

Let's just say that alcohol plus air hockey equals danger to one's well-being. A puck whizzed past someone's head at a speed which would have killed a stoned elephant. One friend was being an ass but smoothed things over by puring half of a pitcher of water on his own crotch. (Intentionally, too.) He was the same person who earlier bragged about the insane amount of his bar tab and who eventually simply drank water directly from the pitcher - more than likely due to the huge bar tab he was so proud of.

By 3 AM, all had calmed down and I went to sleep, actually remembering despite being oblivious to all around me to brush my teeth. I NEVER have forgotten to brush my teeth. I couldn't speak one time but still brushed my teeth. They ARE the only teeth you'll have - best to take care of them.

I woke up 6 hours later incredibly thirsty and, for a moment, feared that I had swallowed my own lips due to the fact that they were incredibly dry. Funny, I don't recall eating a bag of cotton balls. But I must have because no other reason could account for my mouth being so incredibly dry. I had a dull headache and as I stretched, I recalled the slug-fest that we had started the night before which explains the inability to use my left arm to any extreme.

Damn, I love birthdays!


The republicans are coming, the republicans are coming

Actually, to be totally accurate, they have left. The standing monkey, sorry - president, visited the dual cities earlier today. The chief jackass himself made some lame-ass speech praising his achievements in education and a bunch of other crap that he hasn't actually done.

For a brief, but accurate account of the events and individual reactions to them, click here. For a skewed and upbeat account of the undrachiever's visit, one must click here.

I will be back tomorrow with more views of the world, unless I am jailed like the young boy in Florida who drew a cartoon depicting Bush's head on a stick. He was reported to authorities and removed from school. So was free speech. (Sorry, can't find a link to the story but for more news that doesn't get reported, click here and listen online as much as you want. Check out one of the top of the hour news breaks and see what you've been missing.

Stay tuned.

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