Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Alright. You caught me. I am busted. It's been a few days since my last posting which, it appears, started with the topic of genital origami. I needed a break. Wrong. I was out of town. Wrong. I lost my limbs in a freak drinking-related incident. Nope. I am simply lazy. Nope, but my laziness has nothing to do with my writing ability. I was under the weather. So to speak, yes. I had a stomach ailment which caused intense pain. Cramps which would make me double over at times and made life rather trying over the past few days. I am on the road to recovery hopefully and I thank all of you for not sending and balloons, get well cards, flower bouquets or large boxes of delectably sweet candy. Oh, and thanks for not sending large assortments of fresh meat. It would be such a waste to send such items to me...

(Sarcasm machine turned off)

In all actuality, I was beginning to get worried about my ailment. It started to flare up this past Tuesday after I treated myself to a delicious meal of tacos from my favorite mexican fast food restaurant. I had worked a bit later than usual due to a large project with a short deadline which had been thrown at me earlier in the day. I made the crawl home with my tacos playing the part of the passenger in my car and made my way to my humble abode.

It began midway through my devouring of said tacos. Cramps. Terrible, wretched crams. Nothing... will... stop... tacos... so I continued eating. Before I knew it I was feeling the effects from (A) a long withdrawl from mexican fast food (B) stress from my job which doesn't compensate me fairly, or (C) food poisoning from some dirty high school kid at said taco shop who has no sense of hygiene. I hoped for it to pass and carried on with life as much as I could.

Wednesday came and went with normalcy but cramps continuing. I worked feverishly to finish project at work which had been given to me on such short notice. Before I knew it, I had one thing to say about the project - "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" (not to make fun of our monkey-faced jackass of a so-called president) but I had actually accomplished something. My work ethic in the past few months has been rather lackluster but with the way the economy has been for the past three years, the workload is significantly less and I make what work there is stretch to fill a day.

By Thursday, I was feeling worse. It also proved to be another late day at work and after stopping home to try and calm my churning, acid-filled gut, I made my way to my fiancee's house for supper and to spend some midweek time with her and the family. I was feeling no better after eating and soon drove home with the churning continuing. I cranked the radio and cracked the window as it was unseasonably warm outside but still quite gray. I made it home finally and tried to relax in hopes of calming the acid bath inside of me.

Friday continued much in the same fashion and I tried calming foods throughout the day and only chased the whole day's food intake with under half of a can of pop (Soda for the east-coast readers). More bland, tasteless food for supper with symptoms still in high gear. The girlfriend decided that we should go to the store and find something stronger than simple Pepto Bismol to cure my extreme gut rot. Acid reducer tablets seemed the surefire route. Popped one of those as soon as we got back to my dwelling.

By Saturday morning I was feeling better and it was decided that by noon food was in order. Off to grab a fast food roast beef sandwich and from there into "the city" for some shopping. (Ok, so my definition of the city isn't truly the city but it is more populated than both where I live and where I work - combined). After a day on the road spending money, it was back to my residence to relax for a spell. We had plans with her sister and a few other people for later in the evening and it was decided that the evening would start with supper. Supper came WAAAAAY too late. Which eventually lead to the rest of the evening's plans being officially scrapped. It turned out to be a blessing as my symptoms were returning with vengeance. I was beginning to think I would not be able to go to sleep that night because of the intense pain. It was nearly decided that I would be taking a trip to the hospital. I almost agreed but desided to be a stubborn jackass and tough it out.

Sunday was a day of transition. I seemed to be improving but it was hard to tell with the constant diet of acid reducer and Pepto Bismol to calm my annihilated gut.

By Monday morning, I decided to call a doctor and see when I should schedule my funeral for. By mid day I was being poked in the stomach and asked questions relating to my symptoms. The cause, more than likely, is from stress. Work, financial, wedding, thinking too much... So, I'll try to take things a bit easier and reduce what could make any stress worse, less alcohol, less spicy food, less carbonated beverages, less acid filled food... and the list goes on. The quick patch for my ailment was a common over-the-counter medication which i purchased on my journey between towns after work Monday afternoon.

Things seem to have improved as I write this later Tuesday night. I am now extremely rarely feeling any pain or symptoms of excessive acid. I am making a return to normalcy and my writings will too. Tomorrow.

Stay tuned.

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