Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Is merging really THAT difficult? There are signs forewarning of this lane ending. It's not a new road. Most of these people on the road have MANY years of driving experience under their belts. So what makes it so damn difficult? Is it the fact that if you get IN FRONT of this car you MIGHT have a chance of making the next signal light down the road? Yea, that might be PART of it. Is it the feeling that you will be a superior individual by proving you can get in front of a car? Yea, people actually are that stupid. Is it gonna get you home any quicker? No. Especially when traffic slows to 30 miles per hour in a 50 mile per hour speed zone to let someone in to the stream of traffic who is obviously of lesser intelligence. I am one of those people who has it planned out a while ahead of if I find myself hanging out at the end of a lane I spot an opening and slide on in.

I don't remember being taught the magic of merging in driver's training but it is a pretty easy skill to pick up on the go. It involves, most importantly, common sense. Lane ends ahead, merge. It's all right there on the signs. Sign, signs, everywhere signs... Do this, don't do that, can't you read the signs? Hell, they even wrote a song about it. Can't remember who the band was but I remember the remake from the early nineties. Maybe people learned to merge for a brief time in the early nineties. Maybe President Clinton gave out blue ribbons or certificates for those who merged without causing traffic to slow down. The economy was on the upswing, proper merging was at an all-time high!

Oh, how times have changed now, newspaper headlines would read... Jobless rate high, proper merging at all time low ... dammit Bush, if yo think you're gonna get four more years, you better do something about the problems in our once-fine country. TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO MERGE! Oh yeah, and fix the economy, end the war, fix our schools, clean up the environment, build more transit, and reinstate the Bill of Rights and the Constitution. And quit staying stupid things G.W., we all know you can't help it but you have people paid to write speaches for you, let them do you a favor before you make MORE of an ass out of yourself. It's too late. We all know how unintelligent you truly are. Better go back to trying to milk bulls or maybe you need to go back to your ranch and sweep the driveway. Quick, your socks are untied - better tie them before you trip, fall and injure your brain cell.

The rage continues tomorrow, til then, it's time for the Simpsons.

Stay tuned.

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